"Wuthering Heights", W.C. City

1. I have a modern open plan hovel with cross-ventilation available for rent under radioactive waste dump centrally located with flowing municipal drain nearby. Low rent ideal for executive on the move ...

2. I have a guest room for rent at Ladoo Sarai fish market, near market urinal. Ground floor access is near Truck repair shop, opp. Baloo Sweet House. Bathroom shared with basement brothel and government printing press. Ideal for writer or artist.

3. I am a Government of India diplomat currently posted as Ambassador to Bogota, Columbia. Am interested in doing drug business on the side, drug barons kindly contact Prakash, Embassy of India

4. I am a UP burgler and MP with established history of petty crimes, recently settled in Delhi. I am seeking a joint venture collaboration with local thieves working in Parliament. Self-owned torch, pliers and rubber gloves...

5. I am head of an iportant NGO doing charitable work in the tribal areas, also currently expanding gold smuggling operation to Dubai and other near-Eastern outlets, I need young boys and girls with distended stomachs and intestines to travel frequently to the Middle East. Send stomach lining sample. Box 113