Bathroom
Socialist Rita Bansal who has a live-in boyfriend Sabir, a stock market analyst and a part-time astrologer, denied her affair with Rajya Sabha MP Sushil Ahmed, stating irreconciliable difference in choice of bed linen, even though she is currently carrying social activist rocky Madan's child, himself 19 years old. At Don Balram Ansal's funeral - whose blood-soaked body wrapped in Tricolour, lay in state in the Defence Colony Nallah and was discovered accidentally by the Vice President who had come to defecate nearby - Rita denied it again, stating categorically that it wasn't Sushil Ahmed in her bed, but just a hot water bottle that belonged to land grabber and bureaucrat Raman Anand, formerly extortionist and finance secretary for the Bihar Chief Minister. When Raman was contacted by this reporter at his secluded Baroque beach villa in Delhi's posh Tirlokpuri Extension Part II, a harassed Dimpy Ahuja answered the phone (No 011-2351-0162) and denied all charges, including those that had not been levied against her. She said she had only met Babbu, alias Jonathan at a polo match hosted by the then Maharaja of Kahdipur, his Royal Highness Ching-Do-Ling of Shanghai Proper Part II, and there was nothing between them but for the two children, Aman 5, and Candice 56, both of whom were in an exclusive orphanage in Dharavi under the direct care of Prince Charles and Ladi di. Dumpy's first marriage to a heavy set Greyhound Bust at a Bus Terminal in New York had ended in a bitter divorce, and the custody of the two kids, - a 7-year old Buick, and a 3-year old Toyota pick-up truck - was to be jointly shared. The Greyhound bus had gone on to many a German shepherd that had been chasing it for some years. Sadly, some years later, Dimpy died in an accident when a pedestrian rammed into her SUV, while she was on the way to her new apartment in the Andamans, being decorated by the interior design firm of Walia, Walia and McDonalds, Attorneys at Law. Explaining the concept to Dimpy, as she lay critically wounded in the ICU of Delhi Piggery and Meat Company Limited, Cyrus Walia said that "I'd like to do the Living and Dining areas in Early Tudor", because it was an old favourite of his uncle, Sherlock Homes, and he owned a copy of a book by Arthur Conan Doyle which he had used to prop up the bed, when his daughter Ramola, now 62, had been conceived. SThe servants quarter would be 'ideal in a Rajasthani Baroque, because most servants came from Bihar and preferred to live in a relatively frugal lifestyle. Sensing a note of discord, this reporter had gone on to question Cyrus, a bystander, if he was not the illegitimate son of his own father Noshir, now 82, and a respected tribal chief in Nigeria, with his own very successful company, Rent-a-Cannibal, now listed in the New York Stock Exchange.
Gautam Bhatia

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