"Disappointed in the service," another review noted. "The place reeked of burning garbage."

"Located in cozy, quiet neighborhood," read a five-star review. "Interrupted only occasionally by machine gun fire. Lacking in amenities, but an up and coming area. Handyman special. One satellite phone available with smoking bullet hole for [communication] back home. CIA helicopters offering complimentary air lift service for corpses. Great property to get away from it all. Must See!"

Another five-star reviewer could be preparing an opening bid for the million-dollar complex.